That's very sad to hear😔, I know it must've been very hard to come to terms with reality.
It didn't get easier with time, but I learned to live life knowing she was in a better place free from all the pains.
I totally understand you, I've been there. You don't really have to do it if it makes you sad, but doing it and crying your eyes out helps.
My condolences 🙏 may his soul rest in peace 🕊️